I love Philippines?

Nabasa ko ang post na ito habang  pafacebook facebook lang. Sa isang hapon na walang magawa sa buhay, itong essay na ito ang nagpamulat sa akin para bisitahin uli ang blog ko  na napabayaan ko na dahil sa NBA2k13. Gaano mo ba kamahal ang Pilipinas?  Sa pinaka una kong post na Nasaan na ba Tayo Ngayon  (http://juandelacruz013.blogspot.com/2012/11/nasaan-na-ba-tayo-ngayon.html) nabanggit ko kung gaano kaunlad dati ang Pilipinas. Sa kuwento dito malalaman niyo na titingala tayo dati ng mga taga-Asya at sa paglipas ng panahon ay napag-iwanan tayo.

Ito ay isang maikling lathala ni Jaeyoun Kim, isang Koreano, tungkol sa ating bansa. Na sana kahit papaano ay mapukaw nito ang nakatagong pagmamahal  mo sa ating inang bayan. 

MY SHORT ESSAY ABOUT THE PHILIPPINES by Jaeyoun Kim

Filipinos always complain about the corruption in the Philippines . Do you really think the corruption is the problem of the Philippines ? I do not think so. I strongly believe that the problem is the lack of love for the Philippines.

Let me first talk about my country, Korea . It might help you understand my point. After the Korean War, South Korea was one of the poorest countries in the world. Koreans had to start from scratch because entire country was destroyed after the Korean War, and we had no natural resources.

Koreans used to talk about the Philippines , for Filipinos were very rich in Asia . We envy Filipinos. Koreans really wanted to be well off like Filipinos. Many Koreans died of famine. Korean government was very corrupt and is still very corrupt beyond your imagination, but Korea was able to develop dramatically because Koreans really did their best for the common good with their heart burning with patriotism…

Koreans did not work just for themselves but also for their neighborhood and country. Education inspired young men with the spirit of patriotism.

40 years ago, President Park took over the government to reform Korea . He tried to borrow money from other countries, but it was not possible to get a loan and attract a foreign investment because the economic situation of South Korea was so bad. Korea had only three factories. So, President Park sent many mine workers and nurses to Germany so that they could send money to Korea to build a factory. They had to go through horrible experience.

In 1964, President Park visited Germany to borrow money. Hundred of Koreans in Germany came to the airport to welcome him and cried there as they saw the President Park . They asked to him, “President, when can we be well off?” That was the only question everyone asked to him. President Park cried with them and promised them that Korea would be well off if everyone works hard for Korea , and the President of Germany got the strong impression on them and lent money to Korea . So, President Park was able to build many factories in Korea . He always asked Koreans to love their country from their heart.

Many Korean scientists and engineers in the USA came back to Korea to help developing country because they wanted their country to be well off. Though they received very small salary, they did their best for Korea . They always hoped that their children would live in well off country.

My parents always brought me to the places where poor and physically handicapped people live. They wanted me to understand their life and help them. I also worked for Catholic Church when I was in the army. The only thing I learned from Catholic Church was that we have to love our neighborhood. And, I have loved my neighborhood.

Have you cried for the Philippines ? I have cried for my country several times. I also cried for the Philippines because of so many poor people.. I have been to the New Bilibid prison. What made me sad in the prison were the prisoners who do not have any love for their country. They go to mass and work for Church. They pray everyday. However, they do not love the Philippines . I talked to two prisoners at the maximum-security compound, and both of them said that they would leave the Philippines right after they are released from the prison. They said that they would start a new life in other countries and never come back to the Philippines. 

Many Koreans have a great love for Korea so that we were able to share our wealth with our neighborhood. The owners of factory and company were distributed their profit to their employees fairly so that employees could buy what they needed and saved money for the future and their children.

When I was in Korea , I had a very strong faith and wanted to be a priest. However, when I came to the Philippines , I completely lost my faith. I was very confused when I saw many unbelievable situations in the Philippines. Street kids always make me sad, and I see them everyday. The Philippines is the only Catholic country in Asia , but there are too many poor people here. People go to church every Sunday to pray, but nothing has been changed.

My parents came to the Philippines last week and saw this situation. They told me that Korea was much poorer than the present Philippines when they were young. They are so sorry that there are so many beggars and street kids. When we went to Pasangjan, I forced my parents to take a boat because it would fun.. However, they were not happy after taking a boat. They said that they would not take the boat again because they were sympathized the boatmen, for the boatmen were very poor and had a small frame.. Most of people just took a boat and enjoyed it. But, my parents did not enjoy it because of love for them.

My mother who has been working for Catholic Church since I was very young told me that if we just go to mass without changing ourselves, we are not Catholic indeed. Faith should come with action. She added that I have to love Filipinos and do good things for them because all of us are same and have received a great love from God. I want Filipinos to love their neighborhood and country as much as they love God so that the Philippines will be well off.. I am sure that love is the keyword, which Filipinos should remember. We cannot change the sinful structure at once. It should start from person. Love must start in everybody, in a small scale and have to grow. A lot of things happen if we open up to love.

Let’s put away our prejudices and look at our worries with our new eyes. I discover that every person is worthy to be loved. Trust in love, because it makes changes possible. Love changes you and me. It changes people, contexts and relationships. It changes the world. Please love your neighborhood and country. Jesus Christ said that whatever we do to others we do to Him. In the Philippines , there is God for people who are abused and abandoned. There is God who is crying for love. If you have a child, teach them how to love the Philippines . Teach them why they have to love their neighborhood and country. You already know that God also will be very happy if you love others.

That’s all I really want to ask you Filipinos.

I sincerely hope that this essay inspire us all and show LOVE for our homeland.

PS: Ang lathaing ito ay gawa ni

Jaeyoun Kim at hindi ko pagmamay-ari. Ang ilang imahi ay nakuha ko lang sa google. Sana sa pagbasa niyo sa post na ito ay namulat ang iyong mga mata sa pagmamahal sa iyong bayan. =)

Husga

Napa-isip lang ako, bakit kaya madaling mahusgahan ang isang tao. A thing you have done might be the one that defines you for the rest of your life. Di mo ba naisip ito? Na kung may isang bagay ka lang na nagawa, yung hindi makakalimutan ng iba ay baka ito na ang maging tatak mo buong buhay? Halimbawa na lang noong bata ka, napa-utot ka sa klase ng malakas. Dahil diyan binansagan ka ng “Boy-Utot”. Hanggang sa paglaki mo, poreber ka ng “Boy-Utot”. Ganito rin ang kuwento sa likod nina Boy-Ihi, Tae-gurl, Boy-Muhog, Bungi, Panot, Baboy, Toothpick, at ilan pang mga pangalan na naibansag sa isang bata kahit hindi naman nila gusto.

Walang bata ang gustong mabansagan ng mga kasumpa sumpang nicknames kung di lang sa kamalasan ng pagkakataon na nadapa ka o nalagay ka sa isang awkward moment. Di mo naman rin mababago ang iyong physical na kondisyon agad-agad, kasalanan mo ba na pinakain ka ng marami ng magulang mo kaya tumaba ka at binansagang baboy o kaya naman mejo panot ang iyong buhok?

Mas mahirap na kung sa pagtanda mo na nangyari ang lahat ng ito, lalo na sa highschool o college dahil times ten ang kahihiiyan na mararamdaman mo. Lalo na ang mga bansag na galing impyerno. Ayaw mong mapa-utot ng malakas sa klase, mas ayaw mo sa isang meeting with the bosses. May mga bagay talaga na isang araw mapapalpak ka at habangbuhay mong dadalhin ang

Pero ito ang pinakamasaklap na napapansin ko sa ating sistema, sa ating lipunan. Mabuti kang tao, tumutulong at mabait, kilala ng pamayanan, isang modelo, ngunit dumating ang panahon na nangailangan ka ng pera at wala sa mga linapitan mo ang nakatulong sa’yo. Kailangan mong maipagamot ang anak mo at kailangan mo talaga ang pambayad. Napilitan kang pumasok sa illegal na gawain, one-time deal lang para magkapera ngunit sa proseso ay nahuli ka. Dahil sa pangyayaring ito ay nabansagan kang pusher, nag-iba ang tingin ng mga tao sa iyo at wala ng lumalapit. Isa ka ng masamang tao.

Lahat ng ginawang mong kabutihan burado agad dahil sa isang pagkakamali lamang. Di na mahalaga kung marami kang natulungan, isa kang pusher, masamang kang tao. Ganyan kadali masira ang pangalan mo. Sa bawat kabutihang nagawa mo, kahit isang daan pa yan, madaling mawawala yan sa isang pagkakamali. Sa mundo kung saan mapanghusga ang lahat, kung isa kang mabuting tao dapat di ka nagkakamali at buong buhay mo ay mabubuting gawain lang dapat lumalabas sa iyo. Expectations, kaya naman sira kaagad pangalan mo sa mga bagay na hindi naayon sa pagkakilanlan sa iyo. Mas maganda pa nga yung isang adik sa kanto, marami na siyang nagawang masasamang bagay ngunit isang araw ay nailigtas niya sa pagkakasagasa ang isang bata, isa ng bayani.

Bawat bagay na gingawa mo ay humuhusga sa iyong pagkatao. Ang bigat ng masasamang bagay na magagawa mo ay kasing bigat ng isang daan na mabubuting bagay na galing sayo. Wala tayong magagawa dahil ganyan mapanghusga ang mundo. Bawat kilos ay maraming nakatingin sa iyo. Ang pagiging malaya na gawin ang ano man na gusto natin ay isang alamat lamang. 

PS: Ang mga imahe ay nakuha ko lang sa google. Minsan talaga, kailangan alamin muna na ang kuwento bago magsimulang gumawa ng kuwento.

How I Met. . . . .

Sometimes you are fated to meet. Sometimes it’s destiny. Sometimes you believe that the right one will come. But you know kids, most often times its not how you met. It’s not about if she is Miss Right or the perfect one.  Destiny may fate you to meet. But it doesn’t end there. It’s still a long way road ahead. It’s about you making her the one. It’s about the both of you making each other the destiny.   This is the story of how I met her. How through time I’ve fallen for her deeply. How the destiny thing does not guarantee being together. How things became complicated. How we went on our separate ways. How we ended up meeting each other again. Kids, this is the story of how I met her again and became your mother.

She was a very cute kid. I was in second grade and I know it’s but at that time I had a crush on her. I don’t know what is it but I was attracted to her.  Of course I can’t really understand what was happening at that time. I just understand one thing and it’s I like her. As we grow older, she grew more beautiful. I know your mother only brushes me off when I call her beautiful but it was the truth. She really was and always is.

 I was very shy at that time. Very timid. I would suddenly become a big red balloon when I see her or if our classmates tease me about her.  Even when your mother looks and smiles at me I tend to look away. When we were about to cross path, I look for another way. Yeah, let’s say I was very gay at that time. Your mother always laughs when she remembers about it.

You see kids, even if you are fated and you like each other but you won’t do anything about it. That would be useless and would only lead to nothing. Fate is only fifty-percent, the other half is yours. That’s what happened to us. My shyness always overcomes me when it comes to her. I proposed to her in third year with a very cheesy letter. Asking her if she could be my girlfriend (yeah you’re dad was very baduy), sadly she turned me down. But it was for the best. I was being pressured by my peers and everybody else for us to be with each other. She told me to come back to her when I’m ready. She must have thought it won’t be long before I would be ready again. We didn’t know it take more years to come. 

Things had been good. We were recognizing each others feeling at some point. However a time came when she has to go. She got this scholarship to go abroad. On the night before she go, she asked me to wait for her. I said yes. I promised her many things. I broke it all. That is when our destiny started to crumble. Your dad made two biggest mistakes with your mom. And that was breaking her heart twice. I never really knew the reason why I didn’t wait or contacted her. I guess the thing when she turned me down really had hit me or other things in mind. But all along I have no real reason to break my promises with her, but I did. It was highschool, kids do the most stupid mistakes and hurt the persons most important to them.

When she came back I was with someone. We decided to be friends and that. She accepted the fact that I was with someone and in a point moved on. Your mother also dated with someone and falls in love.  We remained as casual friends. We both thought that it would be the end of our story. But it wasn’t, we somehow ended up in the same place and became friends, much closer than we ever was since when we were in second grade. We discovered we have a lot in common and laugh at silly jokes. She would join me sometime in playing computer games and even tried dota, laughing at how the panda’s walk. But things were complicated at that time. Kids, there are stories that aren’t supposed to be told and this one of it.  In the end, it was a short lived relationship. She decided it wasn’t right. It was the time for us to walk in separate ways. I agreed. We both cut our ties with each other. Walk in the opposite directions, never to look back. It was for the best. I really thought it was the end of us. But a funny thing kids, how that fifty percent of the faith works, because when you thought it was over, it is the time when the wheels starts to turn.

You may say that once in your life you would start to walk away to another direction opposite to someone’s and never to see each other again. Well the funny thing is, the word is round, the farther you walk away with each other, the closer you really are. That’s what happened with me and your mother. We forgot that the world was round. We thought it was flat. We were living our separate ways, going on and living okay without each other. But when we bumped in again with each other, that illusion of being alone was shattered. I really don’t know what it is with your mother but she had this thing that makes me fall for her over and over again. It could be her smile. The way she laughs.  The way her eyes twinkle when she talks at me. The way she argues with me. The way she would wittingly counters me. Looking at her, it’s just so perfect. Everything about her is wonderful. And before I know it, there I was again the second grade boy who was for the first time again looking at the person he likes the most. And for the first time in years your mother smiled at me. The sweet smile, she always has since then. And that’s how I met your mother.

PS:  From then on, things had been good for us. I have been with your mother with one wonderful year. Happy as ever. I love you babe.

TERMITES

Nakasakay ako sa jeep, galing sa isang nakakapagod na pabalik balik na byahe pero ito na ang last at sa wakas makakauwi na rin ako. Ayus na, all in days work. Napapapikit na mata ko at malapit ng makatulog na ng biglang pumara at may sumakay. Dalawang babae at isang lalake (pero bakla yata yun). Nag-uusap sila and  watdapak, english speaking. Di lang basta basta english dahil cono accent sila. Okay naman sana. Normal naman talaga ang mga ganyan. Na kahit nakakainis pakinggan wala ka namanng magagawa sa mga socialite na ganito.  Ngunit holy cow, may mga tao lang talagang na gustong magpasikat sa kanilang mga nalalaman na ang lalakas ng boses habang nag-uusap. Ang malala pa ay pinaparinig nila ang mga terms na kanilang nalalaman. “Intellectual Conversation” daw. Ehhh wala namang sense ang kanilang pinag-uusapan. Pasikatan ng mga salita at terms na para lang daw sa mga marurunong. Dahil diyan ay “anay” sila. Oo anay as in termites. TERM mites!!!

Popular na sila sa lipunan. Notorious sila sa mga sitwasyong ganito, pag nasa jeep ka. Parang may mga microphone sila sa kanilang mga bunganga at dinig na dinig ng lahat ng nakasakay ang kanilang usapan. Sa lakas ng kanilang pagpaparinig ay kahit may radyo pa ang dyip na nagpapatugtug ng music o kaya naman nakaheadphone ka ay maririnig mo talaga ang kanilang usapan. Tulad ng kanina.

*note: hindi naman talaga ganito yung usapan talaga. Kung naiinis ka ay hindi mo naman maalala lahat. Pero sa utak ko eto yung naririnig ko. Kaya for the purpose sa aking kuwento ay gagawa na lang ako ng kanilang usapan. Hehehehehe. PISLABRAKENROL!

Girl 1 (naka-eyeglasses, tipong socialistang nerd, air of maraming alam): Yes, the recognition of the theoretically incorrect propositions that the expert had supposed to us was rubbish in a sense blah bla blah blahh blahhh.

Boy(gay voice, has also te air of know-it-all): Yes you are, the adjustment of emancipation of everything that connects to the global ek eke ekekekekek.

Girl 2(the passive one): Yes yes. So the point is. . . . . 

May naiintindihan ka ba sa kanilang usapan. Ako wala. Oo ganito talaga yung mga termites. Super terms, gagamit ng kanilang mga nalalaman na mga terminology para lang makapagpasikat and to intimidate others na  totoo lang naman ay para na silang mga joke. Usually may label ang mga kasali sa mga “anay” na usapan na ganito.

1. TERMITE NUMBER ONE, yung lider ng usapan, maraming terms na alam at ayaw magpatalo. Laging gumagamit ng mga words na nagtatapos sa –tically, -tion, -isms, iously,-city, -ent, at maraming pang iba na ewan kung saang impyerno napulot. Beware of this kind. Wag kang makikipag-usap kung ayaw mong masayang ang ilang oras ng iyong precious life. Dahil sa oras na masimulan ka na nitong kausapin. Well, let’s not think about it.

2. TERMITE NUMBER TWO, eto yung hardcore kasama ni termite number one. Gumagamit din nang mga nerdy terminologies. Nandiyan para maging ultimate back-up ni number one. Sa usapan kanina ay siya yung lalaki. Ayaw din nitong magpatalo at madalas magpasikatan ng terms ni number one. Dakilang user then ito ng word na “uhhhmm” at “you know”.

For example: Having uhhhm completed the ridiculous and ambivalent uhhhm you know   research uhhhmmm that’s why uhhh you know, however uhhh……

Si number two rin ay nagiging number one pag-absent yung isa.

3. SABIT, eto yung nakiksabay lang sa kanilang usapan. Di naman talaga gustong maging termites pero walang magawa dahil napasama sa usapan.Puedeng maging ikaw at ako. Sa usapan sa itaas siya si Girl two. Expert eto makisabay sa usapan ng mga termites, master na niya ang timing sa paghihirit at pagsasagot sa kanila. Yung mga words niya ay: 

“your point is. . . .” ,“So I see, then. . . . “, “Ahhh so technically”, “Really so you’re saying. . . .”,

I-apply natin to sa usapan:

TERMITE: The requirements was superfluous  that I don’t have my valuable to study the paradigms that affected the algorithm blab la bla. . . . . 

SABIT: Ohhh so your point is. . . . . 

TERMITE: My point is the congruence bla bla bla bla bla bla. . . . . . 

SABIT: So I see, then. . . . 

TERMITE: Then the allocation of the servitude that empowers the bla  bla  bla blah. . . .. 

SABIT: Ahhh so technically. . . .. 

TERMITE: Technically my point is the technician generated blah blah blah blah

See, repeat forever lang, tumango tango ka lang minsan tapos yung occasional noises. Epektib na sabit ka na. Wala naman talagang pakialam yung termite sa sinasabi mo eh, gusto lang talaga niyan magsalita.

4. At ang pang-apat na kasali sa scene na ito ay tayo. Oo yung mga ibang nakasakay sa jeep na no choice kundi pakinggan ang napakawalang kuwentang usapan. Ang tawag sa atin ay ang the KAHOY,  kahit 360 na nga na umiikot mata mo ay patuloy pa rin sila sa kanilang “intellectual conversation”. At dahil dyan tayo ang kahoy na inaanay.

Minsan din ay talaga naman walang content ang usapan nila. Halatang halata mo naman na papasikat lang sila dahil puro murmur lang naman sila ngunit sa pagdating sa napakakomplikadong term is ay halos isigaw na nila ang pagsalita:

TERMITE NUMBER ONE: The *murmur* AMBIGOUS *murmur* COMPENDIUM* murmur* PRAGMATIC *murmur*

TERMITE NUMBER TWO: *murmur*PERIFIDIOUSLY *murmur*PHENOMENICIARY *murmur* PULMONARY*murmur*

KAHOY: *rolling eyes*

BEWARE: Ang mga termites ay hindi lang matatagpuan sa mga jeep at mga public utility vehicles. Maaring nasa park sila, mall, skul, at any places. Maaring din silang  matagpuan sa internet, sa chat rooms, fb, at sa kahit na rin sa blog na ito. Kaya kung ako sa iyo mag-ingat ka at baka mabiktima ka accidentally that you would be profoundly be victimized in a change that the paradigm would orgasmiscally eroticism and ideoliscally bla bla  bla bla  bla. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  . . . . .  . . .  . . . . . . . . anay. 

Bakit Di Ka Rin Crush ng Crush Mo?

Masakit man isipin pero totoo. Masaklap man ang buhay ay kailangan mong tanggapin. Di ka crush ng crush mo. Pamilyar ang ganitong storya, inuulit ulit parang history repeat itself, lalong lalo na nung highschool ka pa lang at nagkacrush sa isang dilag ngunit di ka naman pala gusto.  Ouch, shit, at lahat na lang yata ng sakit ay mararamdaman mo. Pero anong magagawa mo, di ka niya talaga gusto.  Kahit sampung sachet pa ng hairgel ang gamitin mo at gawin mo ang buhok mo na parang kay Son Goku, di pa rin magbabago ang tingin niya sa iyo. Kahit anong pampapogi pa ang iapply mo sa mukaha mo at maging kamukha mo na si edward cullen (kaya lang panget ka), kung iba ang crush ng crush mo ehhh walang epek yan. Okay lang lumaban, pero para saan pa nga ba  ehhh losing battle na. Ano nga ba ang mga dahilan kung bakit di ka rin ng crush ng crush mo.

1. Una, may iba na siyang crush. Sorry na lang. Mas gwapo at mas matalino siya sa’yo. I know life is unfair. Tanggapin mo na lang yan.  Minsan mahirap talaga, lalo na sa edad na highschool kung saan mas matimbang yung nagiging unang crush. Nafifixate kasi yung babae sa crush niya.  Halimbawa sa skul,  eto yung setting ng upuan; yung katabing mong gwapo, ikaw, at katabi mong mas gwapo ulit sayo pero hindi kasing gwapo nung isa. Yung nangyayari dito pagmakita kayo ng isang babae ay nagkakaroon ng label ang bawat isa sa inyo. Sa mata at isipan nila ay nagiging ganito: 

Seatmate na gwapo=crush

Seatmate na mas gwapo sayo ngunit hindi kasing gwapo ng isa=possible crush in the future if magka-syota si crush, o kaya naman kung ligawan siya nito ligawan siya ay puwedeng puwede rin. (oo, mahaba yung label nung isa, wag ka na.)

Ikaw(yes di ka naka bold, ganyan ka kainsignificant sa mata nung crush mo) =  (*_*)   its a meme face, no reaction, hindi nagsesend ng signal sa brain niya na magkakacrush siya sa iyo. Ever.

Kaya brader, huwag ka ng umasa. Mahirap lumaban pag may crush ng iba yung crush mo. Pero wag kang mag-alala. After some years, o sa pagcollege niyo, mejo nag-iiba naman pananaw ng mga babae. Tapos baka tubuan ka na ng bigote. It takes time naman daw.

2. You’re not attractive in her eyes. Sorry tsong, gaya ng sabi ko kahit ilang hair gel pa ang ilagay mo sa buhok na puwede ng makatusok sa tigas, ilang bote pa ng cologne ang ipaligo mo, at kung ano ano pang bagay ang ilagay sa mukha mo, kung ayaw talaga sayo ng crush mo wala talaga. Sorry dude, you can change your clothes but you can never change that face.

3. Di ka naliligo. Dude, ito may pag-asa pa. Maligo ka lang, pramis.

4. Na-friend zoned ka. Oh yesss. That evil word. Ito ang dapat mong iwasan sa lahat. Dahil pagnakapasok ka na dito, mahirap ng makalabas. Shet, di ka nga mkakalabas. Oo pare, kung akala mong ang pakikipagkaibigan at pagiging close sa crush mo ay isang paraan upang mapalapit at eventually magkaroon kayo ng mutual understanding and all that crap that you call love. Well, oo tama ka, pero nangyayari lang ito kung  sa simula pa lang ay gusto ka na niya o kahit konting attraction ay meron siyang nararamdaman para sa iyo. Kung wala ay lagot ka dahil malaki ang posibilidad na mauwi lang ito to being friendzoned. Ohhh yess that kilabot word. 

Double edge kasi ang teknik na ito. Minsan nagtatagumpay, kahit papaano nagugustuhan ka niya. Ngunit kung magbackfire, yun lagot ka. Yung masaklap ay kung tanggapin ka na lang niya bilang kaibigan at hanggang dun na lang. Wala nang iuusad. Diyan ka na lang. Ito ba yung tipong okay na okay na. Masaya kayo na magkasama. Naghihintayan kayo bago umuwi sa skwela. Palaging siya tumatawa sa hirit mo. Close na close na kayo. Pero nung inamin mo na. Boom. Biglang gumuho ang lahat. “Sorry but I love you as a friend lang.” Oo i hear you dude. Naririnig ko na ang paguho ng mundo mo. Ang masakit pa nito ay nandiyan ka na talaga, mahirap ng makalabas sa zone na iyan. Forever the friend but never the lover. Eto rebolber, siguraduhin mo lang na may suicide note ka para di pagkamalang foul play.

5. Iba ang hinahanap niya.  Iba to sa mga nauna. Dahil ang gusto niya ay kalahi niya. Oo, tibo yung crush mo. Pak!!!

6. At ang panghuli, lalake pala yung crush mo. Siyempre gago, paano yun magkakagusto sa iyo. Patanong tanong ka pa kung bakit di ka crush ng crush mo.

Wag ka namang malungkot pare. Ganyan lang talaga. Di mo ba rin ba alam na ngayon o sa panahon na nagaganyan ka ay may babae ring nagkakacrush sayo. Nagtataka at nagtatanong, “Bakit kaya di ako crush ng crush ko?” 

Bata bata, paano ka ginawa?

Sabado. Lazy afternoon. Nag-iinternet ako. Wala lang. Surf surf lang. Nagresearch ng madali tapos naglaro na ng 2k13. Pampalipas oras lang. Ilang minuto ay may pumasok na mga bata, mga elementary pa lang. Kanya kanyang kompyuter. “One hour kuya”. Sabay click click, laro ng counter strike, barilan at murahan.  Di nagtagal napuno na rin ng ilang kabataan yung computer center, mga highschool nagdodota. Katapos ng laro ko lumabas na rin ako, maingay na sa loob.

Pagkalabas ko, nakita ko na maganda naman ang panahon, malilim at maganda ang hangin. Kung ako ito noon, nung bata pa ako, siguro naglalaro ako nito sa labas. Yung mga larong nagpapasaya at nagpapatuwa sa atin. Siguro lalaro ako ng tumbang preso kasama mga bata sa aming lugar. O kaya naman “finish finish”, yung titirahin mo yung isang kapares  ng tsinelas mo hanggang finish line. O kaya kahit ano lang, basta nasa labas ako at ineenjoy ang pagkabata.

  Kung noon naglalaro pa mga bata pagkatapos ng klase, ngayon una unahan na para makalabas ng paaralan para makapagplaystation o pc. Nasaan na ang masasayang laro? Noong panahon namin papagalitan na lang kame ng mga magulang dahil di umuuwi kaagad sa kalalaro. Kung noon buong katawan nagagamit sa paglalaro, ngayon mga daliri na lang. Halos mflat na ang puwet sa kakaupo s aharap ng kompyuter.  Naalala mo pa ba yung larong sipa? Yung mga 5 cents linalagyan ng wrapper ng snow bear of white rabbit tapos yun, may laro ng sipa. Ehhh yung pasahan? May tennis ball lang tapos pasapasahan na. Alam niyo ba yung “nurusingkulay” o “base base”, yung may dalawang base tapos magkabilang kampo, habulan hanggang maubos ang isang team, yun yung counter-strike namin dati!

Siguro naglaro ka na rin na “Steps”, yung sa hagda kayo naglalaro tapos kailangan talunin niyo ang step ng tinutukoy nung taya? Yung langit lupa, ito yung pinakamasaya, buong araw na langit lupa. Isang week pa nga. Kahit nagklaklase ay tuloy pa rin ang laro, laha ng paa di dapat nakatapak sa sahig. Pagpinrecite ka, malas mo kailangan mong dahil siguradong ita-tag ka at ikaw na ang taya. Sino ba ang makakalimot sa taguan na buong paaralan ay puedeng pagtaguan.  Kung taya ka, buong araw ka ring taya. Good luck na lang sa iyo sa humpyang. Yung patintero, mas maganda kung sa kalsada kung saan nakakaabala sa mga dumadaan. Mas nakakaabala mas masaya!

Eh yungluksong baka, luksong tinik, o kahit anong puedeng talunan na laro. Chinese garter, nakasaya pa nun yung mga babae, ilang taon ka pa lang nakakakita ka na ng panty slip. Naglalaro rin yung curious na mga boys o sadyang di pa naglaladlad. Skipping rope,  masaya yun, lalo na pagnatatamaan ka ng lubid habang mabilis na ang ikot nito.  Jackstone, masyang laro ito, noong grade 3 ako, ito yung naging game for the month, araw araw, yung mas nakakatawa pa eh yung magagaling sa klase mga lalaki. At tipong mga tigasin.

Siyempre sino ang makakalimot sa laro ng bayan na habula, takbo ng takbo, buong campus yung arena. Kahit college kame yun pa rin lalaro namin, yung isa aastang parang Naruto, mas mabilis daw tumakbo pag ninja ang pakbo. Yung batuhan gamit ng mga bunga ng pine tree o yung isa na mga maliliit na green na mababaho. Akyatan ng puno, laro sa swing. Soccer! Improvised baseball na sinisipa yung tennis ball.  

Ang raming laro. Kanya kanyang trip lang noon, masaya yung kalsad. Gusgusin sa pag-uwi. Okay lang masaya ang buhay. Ano na ba ang nagiging kahulugan ng pagkabata ngayon? Ito na bang teknolohiya? Advancement? Innovative learning? Sa bahay na lang at puro kompyuter? Nasaan na ang laro? Nasaan na ang habulan? Ito na ba ang bagong henerasyon? Nakadikit ang mga puwet sa upuan habang nakatutuk ang mata sa screen at daliri na lang ang gumagalaw?

Pagkauwi ko, nakita ko frame ng isang saranggola. Tapos nandoon kapatid ko, lalaro ng computer games. Kanina pa yun pag-alis ko hanggang ngayong pag-uwi. Nagdesisyon akong ayusin yung saranggalo. Para bukas isama ko siya sa may dagat at magpalipad nito.  Maipakita na ang masasayang bagay sa mundo ay hindi nasa maliit na box.

Gusto mo pa bang maging Pinoy?

Kung bibigyan ka ng pagkakataong mabuhay ulit, pipiliin mo bang ipanganak na Pinoy ulit?

Simpleng tanong lang pero napakakomplikadong isipin ang isasagot. Sasabihin ng iba, hindi naman mahirap, oo o hindi lang naman. May pahabol pang, “Siyempre oo ang sagot, di na kailangan pang pag-isipan yan. Nasaan na ba ang iyong pagiging makabayan?” What a hypocrite, siyempre sa harap ng camera o ng maraming tao yan ang sasabihin mo. Ngangaral ka sa pagiging makabayan ehhh sa ahit nga paghinto kung naririnig mo ang tunog ng pambansang awit ay di mo magawa.

Ako aaminin ko, malaki ang pagdadalawang isip ko nung naging tanong ito sa isag essay namin sa exam. Kung gustong mong makakuha ng malaking grade eh oo ang magandang sagot at lagyan mo ng mga justification ng isang pagiging makabayan. Pero kung lalaliman mo ang pag-iisip at timbangin ang lahat, ano nga ba? Gugustuhin ko pa kayang maging Pilipino ulit?    

Kahirapan, balikong sistema ng gobyerno, napakaruming politika, di mawalang kurapsyon, nakakabuwiset na pamumuhay, mataas na bilihin, magulo na bansa, at media politics. Kung ganito kagulo na ang Pilipinas, nanaisin mo pa bang maging Pinoy? Sa bansang mahirap magkatrabaho. Mahirap ang pamumuhay. Maliit ang sweldo. Mataas na tuition fee. Saan ka na nga ba pupulutin.

Karamihan sa mga Pinoy ay naghahangad na umalis na g bansa, doon na lang nagtratrabaho para sa ikabubuhay nito. Mga domestic helper at ano ano pang blue collar jobs ang kanilang kinukuha para maihaon sa kahirapan ang pamilya nila dito sa bansa. Mas malaki ang sweldo dun, sa trabaho nila ay halos times ten ang sahod kung dito ka sa Pilipinas magtratrabaho. Kapalit ng sakripisyo nila ang magandang kinabukasan na maibibigay nila sa kanilang pamilya. Sa tagal na rin ng kanilang pamamalagi sa ibang bansa ay ninanais na rin nilang doon manirahan. Magmigrate na lang dahil mas maganda ang maibibigay na buhay nila sa kanilang pamilya doon kaysa dito.

Maraming  mga Pilipino ang nagdesisyon ng iwan ang bansa Nawalan na ng pag-asa sa sistemang balibaliko at puno ng kurapsyon. Kung naghahangad kang guminhawa ang iyong buhay ay malabo. Bakit mo ba di nanaising manirahang lang sa ibang bansa? Mas okay na nga ang pamumuhay doon ehh maganda pa ang sistema ng gobyerno at disiplinang sinusunod. Kung sa Singapore maganda ang disipina, malinis at  maunlad ang bansa. Ang mga hapon ay may sinusunod na isang synchronized time. Kung sa Irelan na binabayaran pa ang mga bata para pumasok sa skwela, sa Canada na libre ang pagpapa-ospital, sa New Zealand na sariwa ang hangin. Sa ibang bansa na maabot mo ang iyong mga pangarap.

Aaminin ko, nangangarap din akong manirahan sa ibang bansa. In Rio exactly, sa bansa ng Brazil. Kung saan mayaman at pinahahalagahan ang kanilang kultura. Isang bansa na ipinagmamalaki ang kanilang pagiging Brazilian. Di tulad sa bansa natin na may identity crises, mga Pinoy na nangangarap maging Amerikano. Hinahangad kong mapunta na lang doon, sa kanilang mga kalsada na naipapakita ang kanilang kultura at pagkakakilanlan. Sa bansanghindi ikinahihiya ang kanilang heritage. Pinahahalagahan at ipinagsisigawan sa mundo. Di tulad sa bansa natin na nawawala na ang pagkakakilanlan dahil ang standard na natin ay kung ano ang maganda ng mga Amerikano.

Nakakalungkot mang isipin pero ito ang katutuhanan, marami na rin ang nawawalang ng pag-asa na may maganda pang magagawa ang gobyerno para sa bansa natin. Ang mga namumuno ay puro pansariling kapakanan lang naman ang iniisip. Yung kung sino pa ang may maganda at kakayahang mamuno sa bansa natin ay yun pa ang mga nawawala. Sa halip na magkakaisa ang mga Pilipino ay kanya kanya na lang muna.

Alam ko sasabihin mong puro negatibo lang naman ang sinasabi ko dito. Marami rin namang dahilan para piliin mong maging Pilipino ahhhhh. Oo, tama po kayo. Kahit paano masarap pa rin mamuhay sa Pilipinas. Masaya rin naman ako dito. I just can’t help wondering kung pipiliin ko pa bang maging Pilipino. Ikaw, tayo tayo lang naman, pipiliin mo pa rin bang maging Pilipino?